What the Hell
a reflection on my meditations over the last couple of months
Index
I. Reflection
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Reflection
I think I have a problem. It’s an awful one, and quite frankly at first I blamed the formatting of my letters. Then I blamed the fact that I would write in my head, but my hands hurt. Then I blamed my blame.
It wasn’t like I’ve been trying to play the victim, anything I am motivated to do I do. So why has writing been so hard for me over the last year?
I vowed that this would always serve as a sort of journal and transparent window into my life. Yet, I think I failed you all because I have become ashamed and frustrated with my lack of writing.
How fucking pathetic. hahaha. WoRDs no COme OuT so GoOD ON the WrITTEN PAGE.
I would meditate for hours - in fact as y’all know, I spent the last 2 months focusing on meditation and prayer. I would have these incredible dialogues (monologues?) in my head.
I discussed everything. I debated consciousness, Jesus, markets, economics, myself, my life, science. Everything that would make an incredible article. Then when I would get up to go record my thoughts, my mind would fall blank.
Seriously…what the fuck. I need to tell these people what I have thought or else how will they know? (lol)
I’ve been at an overwhelming sense of peace in my life.
How awful.
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